“I like seeing a pile of cash in my living room,” Honey, not her real name, tells GQ. Honey is an ex-Mormon model trying to transform NYC’s weed delivery game and she’s personally pulling in $27,000 a week.
Wealth New Yorker’s love to smoke marijuana — we’ve been over this. But one obstacle to mainstream acceptance of the illegal herb has always been the veneer of respectability. For many, pot still congers up images of street corner drug dealers and teenage thugs. But Honey is attempting to rebrand pot with professional polish and sex appeal.
Here’s what you need to know from GQ’s 6,500 word story.
Who are they?
They’re called “the Green Angels” — of course. They’re “selling a fantasy of an attractive, well-educated, presentable young woman who wants to get you high—a slightly more risqué Avon lady.”
You’ve already got a dude. Why should you care?
Because Rihanna, who gets her weed from the Angels for free. Justin Bieber, Jimmy Fallon, lots of rappers, Peaches and FKA Twigs are also clients, but they pay.
How does one run a respectable drug dealership?
Modesty: “She points to one girl who’s wearing a dress that leaves most of her breasts exposed. ‘This is too low.’ The girl, flustered, pulls up her dress over her chest. ‘We’re selling weed, going to men’s apartments. Boobs out for customers—no.’”
Discretion: The business changes apartments constantly, uses burner phones and fake names.
Professionalism: “No dating the customers.”
But for all the professionalism there is still some good old murder banter.
“She’s dealt with multiple death threats throughout her career. The wholesalers call her if she’s late on payments and say, ‘I’ll come to your parents’ house and shoot them.’ Honey gives it back to them. ‘I say, ‘I’ll call the feds and have you shipped back to China. I’m waiting for you. I’m gonna fucking blow your head up, and then I’ll blow your mother’s head up.’ People are scared of a crazy girl, she notes.”
What if you don’t like weed?
No problem because it isn’t “weed,” it’s magic: “Only female marijuana plants have smokable buds. ‘You’re smoking the feminine magic,’ Honey says.
What if you live in Bed Stuy?
If you live in a Bed Stuy, don’t expect to get a hottie delivering your ganja. “The phones with the pink covers are the lowest [on the delivery hierarchy]; they contain the numbers of the flakes, cheapskates, or people who live in Bed-Stuy.”
What if you are new to pot?
“We’re like sommeliers, helping people choose,” Marie [one of the Green Angels] says.“ ‘If you want something chill, try this.’ She recalls a woman in her 40s who lives by the U.N., buying for an evening’s consumption for her and her husband after putting their baby to sleep.”
What if you want a couple grams?
Too bad, the Angles recently upped their minimum order to $200.
Do you want to be a drug dealer when you grow up?
That’s the question Honey asks her new born baby. But unfortunately for baby, the golden days of weed dealer are probably already over.
“It’s all gonna be legal by the time you grow up. You’ll have to find something else to do,” Honey tells her baby,