Whole Foods is now offering a “produce butcher” to chop up your veggies for you

For the laziest, most impatient cooks in the world, Whole Foods has answered your prayers. The grocery store that once charged $6 for placing two asparagus stalks in some water is now offering a “produce butcher” in its new Bryant Park store.

The produce butcher does exactly what his name implies; he can julienne, mince, dice, chop, or slice your vegetables for you, presumably so you can go home and have your maid pre-chew them for you.

This being Whole Foods, there is of course an extra price to be paid for the produce butcher service; it either costs a dollar per pound or for anything lighter than a pound, a dollar per individually priced item. There’s no word on whether more complicated fruits and vegetables cost more, and we’re kind of tempted to bring the butcher a pomegranate and see what happens.

Instagram comments on the service are overwhelmingly positive, and range from “I’ll never cut a pineapple again!” to “PURE Happiness awesome.”

Our favorite comment, though, comes from @morockinchef, who writes: “Or perhaps teach a man/woman how to chop vegetables once and they can feed themselves forever?”

Amen, brother.