The most expensive listings in every Manhattan neighborhood: MAP

A fundamental rule of real estate investing is not to buy the most expensive home on the block. Well what about the most expensive home in the whole neighborhood?

We’ve rounded the units in Manhattan up below, and while we’re not totally surprised at the results — the Upper East Side has the most expensive listing, Chinatown has the least expensive — it is worthwhile to see how far your money goes in the different places (an $85 million listing on 42nd Street?). Check the full list out below.

Upper East Side, 834 Fifth Avenue #7/8A | $96 million
Not only is this pad the most expensive listing on the Upper East Side, it’s the most expensive listing in the whole damn city.

Midtown West, 635 West 42nd Street 45th Floor | $85 million
This eight-bedroom spread comes with a yacht, two Rolls Royce Phantoms, dinner for two weekly at Daniel for a year, and court side season tickets to the Brooklyn Nets for a year.

Midtown, 432 Park Avenue #PH95 | $82 million
The trashcan-inspired skyscraper at 432 Park Avenue holds no end of multi-million-dollar spreads and this one is the priciest.

Midtown East, 50 United Nations Plaza DPH4243 | $70 million
The best part about this duplex penthouse? The private infinity pool.

Tribeca, 70 Vestry Street #PHS | $65 million
Although it’s not complete yet, 70 Vestry Street has already sold units to the likes of New England Patriot Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.

Greenwich Village, 11-13 West 10th Street | $59.5 million
This sprawling townhouse is owned by Bear Stearns Co-President, Warren Spector. He has pledged to donate the profits from the sale to charity.

Upper West Side, 145-146 Central Park West #PH26C | $59 million
Demi Moore’s San Remo pad has been on the market for some time. LLNYC toured it last year.

Nolita, 293 Lafayette Street #PHI | $58.5 million
The jewel of the Puck Building’s crown has just returned to the market, and we can’t get enough of that kitchen.

Chelsea & Hudson Yards, 520 West 28th Street #PH37 | $50 million
This penthouse is at the only Zaha Hadid-designed building in the city. The project is still under construction.

West Village, 160 Leroy Street PH North | $48.5 million
This curvy pad comes with five bedrooms and a private outdoor pool.

Soho, 158 Mercer Street #12M/PH | $38 million
The most expensive listing in Soho once belonged to Bon Jovi.

Little Italy, 240 Centre Street Penthouse | $27.9 million
The ever-so-cool Police Building penthouse just got a price chop — and it’s still the priciest in the neighborhood.

Flatiron, 23 East 22nd Street PH55/56 | $26.95 million
This duplex residence at One Madison Park comes with 6,620 square feet of interior space and some real impressive views.

East Village, 210 East 5th Street #3FLR | $25 million
The East Village’s most expensive listing used to be a concert hall.

Financial District, 50 West Street #PH61B | $24.54 million
This half-floor penthouse features a huge wall of curved glass.

Battery Park City, 2 River Terrace #22D | $17.5 million
“America’s Next Top Model” creator and supermodel extraordinaire Tyra Banks recently listed this apartment.

Gramercy Park, 18 Gramercy Park South #16 | $16.75 million
18 Gramercy Park South was built in 1929, this is the only unit for sale in the building.

Lower East Side, 170 Eldridge Street | $9.5 million
This might be our favorite of all these homes. It comes complete with a custom designed waterfall.

Central Harlem, 111 Central Park North 17TH-FLR | $8.95 million
Spread across a full floor, this six-bedroom condo has very impressive Central Park Views.

East Harlem, 122 East 101st Street | $3.99 million
This charming townhouse (one of only three on this list) was bought in 2013 for just $775,000.

Chinatown, 123 Baxter Street #5C | $1.45 million
The least expensive listing in this whole list comes with one bedroom, a den, and a cappuccino maker.