Can someone please give “Post” columnist Steve Cuozzo some carbs?

Steve Cuozzo

The Post’s food writer, Steve Cuozzo, is at it again. Last summer it was his brazen attack on the much-adored summer go-to, gazpacho. Now that summer is again upon us, the only thing worse than cold tomato soup, according to Cuozzo, is having no bread to go with it. He laments the disappearing (free) bread basket as if it were a lost pet.

“Give me that old-time baguette, malawach or Parker House roll! Dull slices and ice-cold, foil-wrapped butter at Union Square Pavilion warm my heart when my stomach’s churning,” he writes, in an ode to the yeasty stuff.

What a half-baked idea it is for high-end restaurants to force patrons to pay for the good stuff, Cuozzo explains hangrily. He names two Indian eateries that have stopped offering complimentary papadum pre-dinner. A barbecue joint not only withheld corn bread until specifically requested, it then passed out just “one tablespoon-size cornbread madeleine” for each diner. At Bevy in the Park Hyatt Hotel, grilled Emmer flour flatbread with burrata, kale pesto and nduja is $13. And that’s not all. Cuozzo carefully curates all the other places he has recently frequented that charged for the carbs he so craves.

Trying to get to the bottom of this travesty, Cuozzo interviews someone in the know. Stephen Hanson, former owner of restaurant empire BR Guest, explains, “People aren’t interested in having old-fashioned, white flour bread and rolls as much as they were even five years ago, especially at lunch.”

Our advice to Cuozzo — and anyone else hankering for a hunk of doughy goodness — is to either 1) roll with it and cough up the dough, or 2) BYOB — bring your own bread.