Lindsay Lohan is starting her own lifestyle site

Want advice on how to snag (and then break up with) a Russian billionaire fiancée? Or getting Britney Spears and Paris Hilton to come to your birthday party? What about doing a weird Scottish/Russian accent that is “a mixture of most of the languages I can understand or am trying to learn.”

Well buckle up kids, because none other than Ms. Lindsay Lohan herself is launching a lifestyle website. And we expect it to include tips on how to accomplish all of those things!

Called “Preemium,” (the extra “e” is for class), the new site will offer “personal diaries, video updates, exclusive personal photos, breaking news, fashion and beauty tutorials, shopping guides, behind the scenes content . . . and much more” according to Lindsay herself. Wow!

Sadly, we can’t actually see what that “exclusive content” is because it’s blocked behind a $2.99-a-month paywall, but from other reports, it sounds like Lohan is now charging us to see her Instagram page. Excuse us while we cancel our New York Times subscription; this is clearly a more important investment.