Society murderer doesn’t understand why there isn’t prison yoga

Yes, he's very pretty, but don't get on his bad side.
Yes, he’s very pretty, but don’t get on his bad side.

Everyone’s favorite society murderer is back!

No, it’s not Robert Durst or even Piper Chapman. It’s the far more enticing Princeton-going, model-gorgeous spoiled brat Thomas Gilbert Jr., who is currently serving time in Riker’s Island for murdering his father when he threatened to lower his allowance to $100 per week (it had been $600, plus the rent for his $2,400 Chelsea apartment). He asked his mother to get him a sandwich, and when she returned, bam! his father had a bullet in his head.

Gilbert, who was the subject of an incredible profile in Vanity Fair, made headlines this week when it came out that he was asking prison guards about where the yoga studio was. “He kept asking for yoga,” a jail staffer told The Daily News, “He thought he was in some resort.”

To be fair, he’s having a rough time in prison; the same article noted that, “At first, the other inmates were confused when the preppy rich kid tried to socialize with them.” So not only is he stuck in jail, but he doesn’t even have any jail friends!

Someone needs to make a movie about this immediately. Preferrably with Ryan Gosling. Okthanks.