Russian 5-year olds attempt escape from Kindergarten to buy Jaguars


If “El Chapo” is looking for new recruits, he may want to pay a visit to Russia.

This week, perhaps inspired by the fancy stylings of their fearless leader, two five year old Russian boys decided that they had had it with the rough life of the playground and hatched an incredibly elaborate escape plan (like seriously).  The two spent days digging a hole under the fence using spades from the sand pit. While their class was taking a supervised journey around the school grounds, the two saw an opportunity to run for it, sneaking under their hole and walking more than a mile to their local Jaguar dealership.

Sadly, however, the boys never managed to ride off into the sunset, picking up chicks and happy meals in a $75,000 car. When the boys made it to the store, they realized their plan had a fatal flaw: they did not actually have enough money to buy a car. When a passerby learned this fact, she spoiled everything by taking them to the police station.

We think the woman should have just let them take the car out for a spin: can you imagine what their dash-cam video would look like?