Valentine’s Day is for suckers. Today — Single’s Day — is a holiday in China that is, no surprise, strictly for single people. Specifically, single people who really like to online shop.
Alibaba invented the holiday in 2009, granting major discounts on everything on their site to encourage people to buy. And it worked: shoppers spent an estimated $14 billion today. Sadly the Chinese version of Alibaba is not available for US consumers, but if you would like to participate in this single extravaganza, don’t worry. We gathered some single-appropriate items you can purchase from Amazon right now. Yes, they’re expensive, but you’re worth it.
Why: Because who needs a boyfriend when you can watch Chris Hemsworth on this puppy?
Why: Because if you are planning to go on dates, you better not be scruffy!
Why: Because your little chihuahua princess will always love you and deserves the very best.
Why: You ain’t getting any younger and you’re not finding any man with crow’s feet.
Why: Because if you’re going to drown your sorrows, it might as well be in something good.
What: Winter Zen Practice Meditation Cloak
Why: Because you want to meditate and you want to do it outside and what else are you going to wear?
Why: Because when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing: it’s chocolate truffle time.
Why: Because you define your single-ness by your lack of a (real) dog.
What: Gucci Women’s Ostrich Skin Leather Double Breasted Coat
Why: Because no one cares about you, so why should you care about the environment?
What: Zero Halliburton Geo Aluminum 30 Inch 4 Wheel Spinner Travel Case
Why: Because there’s no better cure for single blues than a fabulous vacation.