Why no one wants to admit their kids need a tutor who charges $1,500 an hour


After reading the latest Richard Kirshenbaum piece in the Observer, we are seriously considering switching careers to become a tutor for the über-wealthy.

Not only do these lucky ducks make a reported $1,500 to teach little Chips and Aldrichs on the Upper East Side how to calculate derivates and therefore, how to get in to one of the better Ivies, they don’t even have to interact with these children in person — they do it over FaceTime.

The reason for the secretive nature is that Upper East Siders like to pretend that their children don’t need tutors, but are perfect geniuses who came out of the womb reciting Proust. Admitting that their children have flaws is not an option. As one very drunk mom puts it, “It’s like when the girls go off and get their nose fixed in junior year in high school and the mother says the daughter broke it in a skiing accident and had to have it fixed. As if!”

And who is to blame for all of this craziness? The “new money” kids who are not ashamed of their tutoring, and who are taking up the coveted slots in the best schools. As one mother lamented, “it’s no longer the old-boy network.” 

Not to mention all those slots taken up by the kids in more normal income brackets who just work really, really, really (really) hard. Rude.