Make pasta in your very own $300,000-a-month Upper East Side rental

This ain’t no Airbnb. An über expensive, fully furnished three-bedroom penthouse suite at Lowell Hotel on the Upper East Side has just hit the New York City rental market for a whopping $300,000-a-month (or $14,000-a-night). See it on our map of the priciest rentals in the city.

So what exactly does that awe-inspiring monthly fee get you? The WSJ reports the six-room, 2,900-square foot hotel suite renovated by interior designer Michael Smith is ideal for long stays. Comprised of such noteworthy things as a living room with a wood-burning fireplace and a dining room, it would appear its main selling point, according to the selling broker, is  (*gasp*) a kitchen. “Sometimes you want to be able to make a bowl of pasta,” explains Therese Bateman of Brown Harris Stevens.

If the ability to make some late-night mac n’ cheese doesn’t encourage you to whip out your checkbook, other goodies include: wireless internet, twice-daily turndown service, dog-walking, packing and unpacking services, and access to hotel amenities such as room service (which includes a pet menu), laundry and dry-cleaning.

Renters who want to shrug off that “Lost in Translation” feeling can work with the hotel to customize the decor or fashion it with their own furnishings.

Because of the aforementioned kitchen, the Lowell has been booked for extended stays before, but this is the first time it has been officially listed by a brokerage. (With that killer pasta line, we can certainly see why).

“For many, it’s their pied-à-terre in New York City,” explains Amie Buchanan, Director of Sales and Marketing at the Lowell.

And even more incredibly, it’s not the most expensive hotel room in the city. That dubious honor belongs to the penthouse at The Mark Hotel, which rents for $75,000 a night and is also the most expensive hotel room in the world. It isn’t listed by a brokerage, but at that price would cost $2,325,000 for a month.