Valextra’s insanely expensive dog scoop bag, a deconstruction

The bag!

We have written about many, many items for rich people here, but this dog scoop bag from the Italian brand Valextra may be the most confusing item we have ever encountered. Here are our reasons:

1) The price: In your wildest dreams, how much do you think a leather pouch with “gold-pink hardware,” which is designed to hold poop bags for your pooch, could possibly cost? Try $610.

2) The customer: Who exactly would buy this? Anyone rich enough to drop 600 bucks on a little leather pouch hardly seems like the type of person to actually — you know — pick up the poop. Our guess is that it is for rich people to hold while they walk the dog, and then quickly hand off to the help when the dog does his thing.

3) The purpose: A plastic bag is designed to hold anything you want. This leather bag is designed to hold plastic bags. Therefore, by the transitive property, whoever buys this dog scoop bag has a deep and profound need to be held themselves — and are willing to pay any price to fulfill that emptiness.

Now we’re starting to feel (a little) sorry for them.