Few things are more middle class than a sale. After all, why dig through leftovers for discounts when you could shop in private surrounded by sycophantic style experts? But according to LLNYC cover star Richard Kirshenbaum, sample sales of designer and luxury goods are drawing the green-eyed monster out of high-society.
Kirshenbaum’s usual caste of anonymous 1 percenters tell him in the New York Observer piece that the demur ladies who lunch go absolutely batty when presented with a discounted “sable chubby.”
“It’s like having an affair,” designer Jay Kos said. “They get a secret kick out of the discount. The price reduction is a drug and if they can’t get their fix they go on a rampage, pulling each other’s hair and throwing right hooks, all for a beaded top.”
The ladies who are lucky enough to be invited to these exclusive sales told Kirshenbaum that women will grab clothing right out of your hands before giving you crazy eyes. Wigs have been pulled off; cellulite exposed.
“This short woman from Second Avenue literally pushed me and ripped a sable chubby out of my hand like a starving person at a buffet. I was about to knock her back when I saw the crazed look in her eyes—like a charging hyena. It was so frightening I just let her have it, which upset me because it was one-of-a-kind and it was 40 percent off,” one sample sale victim said.
Big game hunting also occurs at these luxury-less luxury sales. Women are said to stalk one another in hopes that an item will be discarded or dropped.
“Like tracking an animal in the jungle. It’s all a psychological game,” Kirshenbaum’s wife Dana said. “This woman saw that I put it [an asymmetrical taupe cashmere cape] down for a moment as I tried on something else, and went in for the kill.”