Gwyneth Paltrow shares 7 tips for traveling like a blond shiksa goddess

When you’re Gwyneth Paltrow, you exist in a different reality than normal people do, one that is populated only by other tall, blond movie stars with perfect smiles. Take the following image of her and her squad:


Thank you @drewbarrymore @jal14 @camerondiaz @nicolerichie @rachelzoe for celebrating #goodcleangoop ?the love is deep @goop

A photo posted by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Sometimes, though, Gwyneth does actually have to interact with normal humans — whenever she goes on one of her many adventures around the globe. Maybe she’s not rich enough to fly private, or maybe she likes the chance to see what the little people are up to, but according to a recent NY Times Q &A, she seems to be on a *gasp* regular plane for work or pleasure, all the time. 

How does she stand the forced interaction with not movie star humans? Here are some travel tips from the conscious uncoupler: 

1) Do NOT eat the plane food: “I try not to eat rubbish either. I’ll pack salad and fruit.”

2) Get thee to a sauna as soon as you land! Just in case you accidentally breathed the same air as a normal. 

3) If traveling overnight — and ONLY overnight — drink whiskey or a glass of wine. You must then immediately pass out so that you don’t have to engage with any other people. 

4) You are allowed to eat a croissant when you’re in Paris. But only if you promise to “come home and tighten it up.” 

5) Bring an iPad if you have children to entertain them. Also, we assume, an unmentioned nanny.

6) Don’t worry about international crises or silly things like the news. “You have to keep living your life.” 

7) Don’t even think about checking luggage: That’s what personal assistants are for!