Steve Cuozzo’s NYC restaurant hate is hard to swallow

Steve Cuozzo

The NY Post’s Steve Cuozzo, the Andy Rooney of the aging foodie set, recently posted his 12 reasons for hating to eat out — and we are finding them tough to swallow.

Over the course of the last year in his Post column, Cuozzo has bashed online reservations systems, communal seating, noisy restaurants, avant-garde eats (like meatless burgers) and uncomfortable seating.

Some of his complaints are valid, for instance, labyrinthine walks to the bathroom. Who can dispute that an overly long trek to find a restaurant bathroom gets under our collective skin? I wrote as much in my review of the new iPic theater, where guests must make a multi-floor trek out of theaters, through a crowded bar and restaurant just to find one.

However, Cuozzo’s pretentious whining is what really makes us lose our appetite, and his latest column is our favorite hate read yet.

In it he complains of small portions, waiter small talk, tasting menus, the Hawaiian dish poke, etc., etc., etc.

Facebook commenters appear to have created their own “Top 12” list for why they hate reading Cuozzo, including appetizers like: “This old man just keeps getting crankier day by day” and “I LOVE eating out in NY and think it’s one of the best places to do so! The reasons listed in this article are so trivial it’s a joke, lol.”

Not to mention the dessert of all comments: “I was hoping to use this article as part of my research on where to go in NYC when I visit in the new year, but this article just came across as pretentious waffle.”

Nom nom, waffles! Another great reason to go out to eat in Gotham!

For someone so eager to espouse how he’d “make NYC dining great again” we can only hope that in 2017 he dines on a heaping plate of STFU along with a side order of “Nobody cares.”

New York City’s constantly evolving dining scene is amazing — and we don’t just mean Le Cou Cou — from sushi burritos to cragels. Or as one intrepid commenter puts it, ” Screw all these 12 reasons on the bottom of your shoes, coz ya still love New York. New York is home, love everything here.”

  • urallidiots

    The greatest annoyance (that Cuozzo) forgot to mention are the self-important turds that make up the foodie culture. These arbiters of all things culinary are the clowns taking pictures of meals, writing 2,000-word Yelp reviews about curated salt and trying desperately to outdo the next pretentious clown and his rant about farm-to-table mayonnaise. Because of these people, everything is now overdone in restaurants.

    So, hipsters and Millennials, next time you go to a nice restaurant, act like you’ve been there before. Be polite to the staff, don’t try to wow the sommelier with your inferior knowledge and stop live-posting on Facebook.